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I'm going to climb up on this soapbox here and make myself comfortable for the next few minutes.

If I had a child or if my little cousins were in my car with me, I would be borderline terrified to turn on the radio. First of all, apparently it's ok to say ass, bitch, whore, dick, and other offensive things on the air. (No George Carlin jokes, please.) I don't use this language on social media and I would NEVER use it at work, but apparently disc jockeys are allowed. (To clarify: I have friends on the radio. I'm specifically talking about the crude, rude, icky DJs that SOME stations employ for shock-factor.)

Reason number two why I wouldn't turn on the radio: So many songs on the air are SO offensive and dirty. This brings me to the whole reason I write today...
Here are a list of songs on the radio that I consider offensive, as well as their most disgusting line(s).

WE CAN'T STOP- Hannah Mon-  er, Miley Cyrus. My bad.
"To my home girls here with the big butt
Shaking it like we at a strip club
Remember only God can judge ya
Forget the haters 'cause somebody loves ya"
also
"We like to party
Dancing with Molly*
Doing whatever we want "
Miley, ANYONE can judge you. And they do. *You're also singing about ecstasy.


The Luke Bryan Sexist-Pig Show:
COUNTRY GIRL (SHAKE IT FOR ME)
"All I wanna do is get to holdin' you and get to knowin' you
And get to showin' you and get to lovin' you 'fore the night is through
Baby you know what to do"
Shake your butt for me and everyone else around. Then we have sex.

 KISS TOMORROW GOODBYE
 "Ain’t gonna beg you to stay
Ain’t gotta ask you what’s wrong
Ain’t no reason running after something already gone
Take off your leavin' dress
Let’s do what we do best"
Let's have meaningless sex since we're going to break up anyway.

THAT'S MY KIND OF NIGHT
"All them other boys wanna wind you up and take you downtown
But you look like the kind that likes to take it way out"
and
"Gonna sound like a winner, when I lay you down and love you right
Yeah, that’s my kind of night!"
Essentially, you're a county whore- not a clubbing whore- let's have sex.

Conclusion: NO, Luke Bryan. I DO NOT want to have sex with you.



HOLY GRAIL- Jay-Z
"F**k the fame, keep cheating on me
What I do, I took her back, fool me twice
That's my bad, I can't even blame her for that
Enough to make me wanna murder
Momma please just get my bail
I know nobody to blame
Kurt Cobain, I did it to myself"
Seeing as n*gger and f**k are the words of choice in this song, I'd say it probably shouldn't be on the radio. Props to Jay-Z, though.



THE WAY- Ariana Grande
"You’re a princess to the public, but a freak when it’s time
Said your bed be feeling lonely,
So you’re sleeping in mine.
Come here,

Watch a movie with me,
“American Beauty” or “Bruce Almighty” that's groovy,
Just come and move closer to me
I got some feelings for you,
I’m not gonna get bored of
But baby you’re an adventure
So please let me come explore you"

This isn't the worst on the radio, but like Miley Cy, Grande is a child star. I hope her pre-teen fans don't want to own her album. 

BLURRED LINES- Robin Thicke
"Let me be the one you back that a** to
Go, from Malibu, to Paris, boo
Yeah, I had a b*tch, but she ain't bad as you
So hit me up when you passing through
I'll give you something big enough to tear your a** in two."
Actually, the whole stupid song is stupid offensive. I wonder how Kidz Bop is going to edit this one...



GORILLA- Bruno Mars
I do not feel comfortable posting lyrics to this little guy...
I really like Mr. Mars and it's ok if he has this on his CD, but this is NOT an appropriate radio single. Just sayin'...





So what's OK to listen to? Here's my list of songs/artists that aren't sex/drug/alcohol obsessed:

1. ROAR- Katy Perry
2. BRAVE- Sara Bareilles (anything she does is awesome)
3. Paramore is usually pretty safe
4. It kills me to say it, but Taylor Swift has kept her nose (and lyrics) pretty clean
5. Mirrors- Justin Timberlake
6. I'm sure there are more, but I'm done listing them

Stepping off the soapbox now. Thanks.

We're different and it's OK

Kyle and I have almost hit 5 months of marriage (this Friday marks the day). I have to say, marriage has been my favorite life-step thus far (verses birth, high school, driving, voting, college, drinking, etc). Marriage has also been challenging; many guests at the wedding warned us that our first year would be the toughest (others argued that out first year as parents would be the most telling/challenging).

I think the biggest challenge of marriage is the pressure that society puts on us. By more than one person in more than one situation, Kyle and I have been made to feel like we're doing it "wrong." People comment on how friendly we are- we rarely engage in any sort of P.D.A. Some people note how we go places without each other- I spend the night out of town with friends every month or two. Often times Kyle is out late working at the garage and I'm home alone or spending time with my mom or friends- we're rarely together all evening at home. Also- uncommon in little towns like ours- Kyle and I are married twenty-something-year-olds that have NO plans to birth children in the next few years. Yes we got married, yes we bought a house- none of this was in preparation for babies.

This judgement (for lack of a better word) has made me extremely self-conscious. It's planted doubt in my mind and caused fighting between Kyle and me. I feel a pressure to be the "perfect newlyweds" and every time I see another couple behave like the status quo, I feel slighted by my imperfect union. I lust after the perfect relationship and fear failure in the matrimony that we've created. I feel judged.

Now, I'm being slightly dramatic. I LOVE Kyle with my entire heart. I would marry that guy again and again. He's my man crush, better half, "best friend", and soul mate. For realz. Unfortunately, I have been putting this "perfect pressure" on our marriage these last few months. Tonight, in this moment, as Kyle snores (well, more like heavy breathing) next to me, I swear I'm done being dumb.

Kyle and I are different from other couples and THAT'S OK. In fact, every couple is different from one another. There is NO perfect marriage. Just think, if we all had to follow the exact same marriage guidelines and rules, we'd all be divorced. Kyle and I are independent. We started a business and that demands time. We have young friends that AREN'T married and we refuse to exclusively join the married-couple-club. Our life is awesome. Kids are fun, but Lylee's better (for us, anyway). I wish I'd have figured this out 5 months ago, but marriage is all about changing and learning. It seems to me that we're doing it right. I'm done feeling pressure and I'm done passing judgement on myself- I'm happy and that's what matters. I'm going to sit back, relax, and enjoy my hilarious, sarcastic, independent, handsome, dog-loving husband :)